A Winter Solstice Trio

Longest Night

Photo by Shyamli Kashyap on Unsplash

With the Shortest Day

comes the Longest Night

the one with dreams

of long dead faces

the tossing and turning

in sweaty sheets

rolling over

stretching out a hand

for you

only cold and dark under my fingers

II.

When he was dying

body and mind

so, so tired

he forced himself awake

eyes closing briefly

only to snap open again

in desperate alertness

rest

we urged

just rest

with the fewest words possible

he struggles to make us understand

the nights — are — so, so — long

III.

I lay awake

my back pressed against

your father’s

sleeping silence

hand resting on belly swollen

with nine months of baby

no longer a flutter in the night

but fierce kicking

you are ready

I am not

tomorrow will come soon enough

the drive to the hospital

induction, monitors, more waiting

then hopefully, a healthy child

three of us still

but different

more noise

and worry

and chaos and

piles of poopy diapers

I lay awake

hand resting on belly

enjoying this last, long, lonely night

where everything is firmly

under my control