eating crackers gets crumbs in your bed
listening to flattery
can go to your head
cause and effect, it’s simple you see
do a thing and
another will be
cause and effect, I’m not immune
when “love” is whispered
in your efforts to woo
as you kiss me, declare I’m the one
paint a picture,
our lives to come
my heart pit-a-pats; I go weak in the knees
common sense leaves me
in my efforts to please
cause and effect, anybody can see
if you do a thing
another will be
you are attentive and oh-so kind,
I miss all the warnings
I will myself blind
then to my horror, football season begins
I sit by my lonesome
while you live in the den
dressed in sweatpants, you guzzle cheap beer
have your friends over
to whoop and to cheer
the Dolphins, the Saints, 49’er, Cowboys
they are one and the same,
an excuse to make noise
the calendar tells me, there’s no end in sight
so I pack my bags
slip out in the night
I know you won’t miss me, unless your team loses
then you’ll want comfort,
to know where more booze is
cause and effect, so clear to see
you do a thing
and another will be
you did a thing, so I did one too
cause and effect
what’s one to do?
I still eat crackers, get crumbs in my bed
but flattery will never
again turn my head
cause and effect, I know what I need
when choosing a man,
I’ll pick one who READS!
P.S.
I actually like football and have spent many a happy afternoon curled up on the couch with a cold beer and pizza while listening to Michael rattle off stats, his voice a soothing burble of nonsense lulling me to sleep. It is a lovely way to spend time with a buddy - if you don't care about the outcome.
I made the mistake, long ago, of investing emotionally in a team; but then Russel Wilson did NOT hand the ball off to Marshawn Lynch, and my football caring came crashing down upon my ears never to return.
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