OPIE
orange, fluffy, adorable, and… feral
two feet away is as close
as one is allowed
“I saved your life, you little shit!”
I yell as he darts away
this is true, me saving his life
he doesn’t seem to remember
or care
every three hours
for
two
days
his emaciated little body
tight against my chest
kitten formula
drop by drop
trying to give him
a fighting chance
he drinks reluctantly
avoiding my eyes
never giving me
a single purr
for my troubles
as soon as he is strong enough
can hold his own
at his foster mother’s teat
he resists any touch
clearly stating his world
is not mine
orange, fluffy, adorable
he illuminates
a sliver of darkness
in my soul
impatience and ugliness
rise inside me
the rejection of this little cat
hits hard
where I am most vulnerable
somehow…. despite my best efforts
my love is not as pure
as I would wish
loving and not being loved back
how does one
steel one’s back
keep the chin up
take a deep breath
resolve to be the best
version of themselves
despite the actions
of another?
I continue to ponder this
with another name
in my heart
as this little orange cat
all grown up now
ignores my outstretched hand
darts under the fence
I shout after him
“I love you, you little shit!”
and begin to cry