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  • Alice Wyatt

Impure Love





OPIE


orange, fluffy, adorable, and… feral

two feet away is as close

as one is allowed


“I saved your life, you little shit!”

I yell as he darts away


this is true, me saving his life

he doesn’t seem to remember

or care


every three hours


for

two


days


his emaciated little body

tight against my chest

kitten formula

drop by drop

trying to give him

a fighting chance


he drinks reluctantly

avoiding my eyes

never giving me

a single purr

for my troubles


as soon as he is strong enough

can hold his own

at his foster mother’s teat

he resists any touch

clearly stating his world

is not mine



orange, fluffy, adorable

he illuminates

a sliver of darkness

in my soul


impatience and ugliness

rise inside me

the rejection of this little cat

hits hard

where I am most vulnerable


somehow…. despite my best efforts

my love is not as pure

as I would wish



loving and not being loved back

how does one

steel one’s back

keep the chin up


take a deep breath

resolve to be the best

version of themselves

despite the actions

of another?


I continue to ponder this

with another name

in my heart

as this little orange cat

all grown up now

ignores my outstretched hand

darts under the fence


I shout after him

“I love you, you little shit!”


and begin to cry









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