Need To Lose Weight?

The Divorce Diet

wane cheeks

hollow eyes

flat stomachs

food tastes like sawdust

each mouthful a burden

plate pushed away

as soon as possible

hoping no one notices

we laugh

on cue

The Divorce Diet we call it

a joke between us

not funny of course

but a shared connection

we cling to

are you eating?

no, you?

you should

I know, can’t

sorry

yeah, it sucks

5lbs - 10lbs - 20 lbs

we melt into our younger selves

garnering compliments from unknowing friends

we should write a book!

have a QVC slot, our own talk show!

no pills!

no exercise!

the pounds melt away!

we could be rich and famous AND thin

we could have it all

just

Break The Heart of The One You Love

and you too can live

The American Dream

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NOTE TO READER

I write from deep inside me. A wonderful editor friend sent back a sideline scribble, "RAW", with lots of lines underneath. I haven't had the courage to ask her if that is positive or negative. Inspiration usually starts in my gut - sorrow, joy, humor, a turn of a phrase that catches my fancy. Often as not, I grab a piece of paper and sketch something out before the emotion leaves. Once I have the essence, I can look at my notes later, tap into what I was feeling and flesh it out.

This blog is not a current journal. I am fine-tuning pieces I have written over the last 6 or 7 years., attempting to try my hand at all different writing styles. In fact, I just found one of my very first poetry attempts, jammed in a book I had been reading in 2015. I smoothed it out, retyped it into my computer with only a few edits, and felt really, really proud of my earlier self. "Well done Chick.", is what I actually said.

This piece was written very recently, though it references something that happened almost two years ago. My husband and I were teasing each other about our "happiness chubs", the fact that we have put back on the weight we had so alarmingly lost when we were thinking of divorcing. Despite the laughter, those memories were so very fresh that I wrote this in just a few minutes. I could still feel the tasteless cardboard of food on my tongue and the tears I shed when I saw a photo of him just a month after I left. The shadow of that time still hovers over us some days. By writing about it, my hope is to honor the journey we went through, not forget the lessons we learned, and encourage others to not shove hard things off in a corner. The only way we receive healing is by letting the light in.

With that said, if I reference someone directly, I have shown them the piece and ask their permission to publish it here. I am a very "RAW" person, others are not.